So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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