I want to stick my p in your. b.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
