Just mADE A PArabola og urine
farters have to be the big spoon...
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
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