I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
