is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Too much gin, very little bucket
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
