She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Damn victory sex feels great
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
