No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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