this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
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