I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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