I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
