Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
