i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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