Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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