like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
