First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
