I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
it glows. i had to have it.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
