I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
