in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
why do cheetos always look like penises
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I wish there were birth control emojis
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
