Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
