That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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