omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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