i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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