pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
