i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
