i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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