This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
