Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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