Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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