Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
