well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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