i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
