I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
