we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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