It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
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