remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Randomize
