I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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