im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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