well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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