trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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