You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
