I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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