I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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