I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
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