A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may now shotgun with the bride
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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