Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
