Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Let's get the cat blown out
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
