I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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