love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
