So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Everything about him screamed your future.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
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