a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
