it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
