the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
