We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
