2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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