we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
