eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
