YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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