okay pat passed out under dana's car
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
