Say something about gay babies.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
