of course. lets lasso hookers.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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