I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
