i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize