we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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