I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just send me my own nude
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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